The Year in Music 2009: From the Perspective of Someone Who Doesn't Really Give a Shit Anymore

A wonderful thing has occurred in my life over the past couple of years. And no, this isn't about the time Coach Tomlin acknowledged me as I was running by his house. It has to do with the evolution of my musical tastes. For better or worse, I spent most of the years 2000-2007 worshiping at the alter of Pitchfork. With the exception of Animal Collective, whom I now despise with a small amount of passion, if Pitchfork liked it I most likely did as well. While this still applies for some releases, as I've finally began to branch out a little and form my own musical tastes its become very obvious to me just how boring a majority of new music in the mainstream of the hipster world is. Frankly, I just have very little interest in it. I feel my time is much better spent asking my friend about his favorite all time punk or electronic releases instead of listening to "Merriweather Post Pavilion" repeated times trying to figure out why I just don't "get" Animal Collective.

Every year since I believe 2002, I have made at least a Top 10 list of my favorite albums released that year. Last year, I probably only really liked about 6 or maybe 7 of the albums I listed and I distinctly remember having a hard time coming up with 10 records that I cared enough about to list. I don't have that in me for 2009. So, this year sort of marks the end of an era, so to speak, but I am actually quite happy about this. Making lists used to be fun, but its turned into more of a chore as of late. And as I've said before, I would much rather spend my time exploring the catalogues of bands like Jawbox, or listening to The Modern Lovers for the first time than trying to convince myself that I actually like the latest release from Bradford Cox (Atlas Sound and Deerhunter).

That being said (sorry Larry David, but I feel this phrase is appropriate here), this doesn't mean that if I am dismissing all new music. If I accidentally stumble upon a new release that I happen to like, or a band I've liked for years releases new material, or even if a record is getting so much hype that I almost have no choice but to at least check it out, then I see no reason not to do so. As this year draws to a close, I do have a small list of my favorite new albums of 2009 to share. However, I will only list my top three as they stand out more so than the others. Also included are three additional albums that I found to be enjoyable and thought were at least worthy of being mentioned.

Here are the albums from 2009 that I very much enjoyed. Again, there is no particular order here;

Yeah Yeah Yeah's: It's Blitz

I've actually never been a fan of this band at all. I've never really listened to them, nor did I care to start. But I heard the opening single 'Zero' on MTVU at my parents house late one night, and decided to give them a chance. Turns out it was a good decision.

The xx - xx

This is an example of a release that I felt like I was beat over the head with until I reached the point where I just decided to give it a listen. Its a solid album of sure. Nothing that required a change of pants on my part, but enjoyable nonetheless.


Grizzly Bear - VeckatimestI wouldn't be surprised when it is all said and done, if "Yellow House" ends up being my preferred Grizzly Bear release. That doesn't mean this record doesn't have some killer tracks ("Southern Point", "Ready, Able", and the gorgeous closing track "Foreground"). What amazed me the most was how popular Grizzly Bear became as a result of this release (relatively speaking of course). Good for them, they deserve it.


And now for the Top 3. These records are listed in order, and stand out just a little more than the previous 3 mentioned. Although, gun to my head, Grizzly Bear was probably my fourth favorite record this year


3.) The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - Self Titled


If someone ever asks you to name a completely generic hipster band, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart may be a good response. Everything about them screams of another run-of-the-mill indie act. While this may be true, it doesn't take away any my my affinity for this record. Its short, fun, musically uplifting, and damn catchy. I thought for sure it would age terribly, but I probably like it more now than I did when I bought it back in the spring.

2.) The Flaming Lips - Embryonic


Count me in as one of the people who hated "At War with the Mystics". The first time I heard the 'Yeah Yeah Yeah' song, I thought I downloaded the wrong record. In fact, although I genuinely like "The Soft Bulletin" and "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots", I much prefer the "Clouds Taste Metallic" version of the Flaming Lips. While this release is not by any means a return to that style of music, the darker, broken, more psyched out feel of this record reminds me more of those days than the polish of "Yoshimi" and "Bulletin". This record is scary, dark, damaged, and kind of insane. I love it.

1.) Bat For Lashes - Two Suns

Another product of watching MTVU late at night after coming home from drinking, discovering Bat For Lashes fantastic single 'Daniel' was perhaps my favorite moment related to new music I've experienced since rocking out to The Hold Steady during the majority of my trip to Seattle two summers ago with The Burgh Boys. This record has everything I love about music; dark haunting electronics, beautiful melancholy vocals, strong songwriting, and and lyrics that while bleak at times, never stray over into the corny, juvenile angst/heartache realm. It also doesn't hurt that I happen to have a school boy crush on Natasha Khan (who basically is Bat For Lashes). If you are not convinced, head on over to YouTube, and find her performance of 'Daniel' on Letterman from this summer. Amazing stuff.

Guess Who's Back

As the prophecy goes, "Once He has successfully defended His thesis, earning the title of 'Master' or 'The Big Cheese', He will return to his loyal subjects, to blog once more about pointless shit." And so it was.

PABST is now officially back after a two month or so hiatus. I'll be providing periodic updates over the next few weeks where I am off school and have nothing to do except sleep, lift, drink, and hang amongst some wonderful people. So grab an ice cold PBR, minimize that window with the porn (but you can leave the volume up if that is your thing) and revel in the return of your favorite blog on the cybernets.

PABST 2009-2010 NHL Preview

As ridiculous as it sounds, another NHL season is right on our doorstep. It seems like just a few weeks ago, everyone's favorite team (either to love or to hate) was hoisting the Stanley Cup at Joe Louis Arena in front of the Detroit fans while the Red Wings were in their locker room concocting stories about being snubbed by Sidney Crosby and doing their best impression of Bill Belichick following the New England Patriots 2006 AFC Championship loss to the Indianapolis Colts (read: acting like spoiled, petulant children). While Kris Draper and the Red Wing faithful seem to have spent the summer jerking off to images of Sidney Crosby not shaking Nicklas Lidstroms hand after Game 7 of the Finals, the rest of us rational people have been on a hockey hiatus. To be honest, I wish it lasted another month or two. Personally, after watching the Penguins through two straight Stanley Cup Finals runs, I need a long break. However, the NHL does not cater to my every whim (Only Crosby's it seems since the playoffs were obviously fixed the last two years) so I guess the season will start without my approval.

Now, instead of doing a full-on preview of the season, I'm just going to list 25 predictions for the upcoming season. Of course, all the important ones will be included such as award winners, division winners, Stanley Cup Final teams and winner, and a possible statement or two regarding how the names of certain Washington Capitals players lend themselves to jokes about semen.


1. The Washington Capitals will win the Southweak, I mean Southeast Division and the #1 playoff seed.
2. The Philadelphia Flyers will win the Atlantic Division and #2 playoff seed.
3. The Boston Bruins will win the Northeast and #3 playoff seed.
4. The Pittsburgh Penguins will be the #4 seed
5. Even though they will be a bad team, the NY Rangers will sneak into the playoffs as a result of the stupid scoring system for shoot outs. Toronto, New Jersey, and Buffalo will be the other teams that make it.

6. The Pittsburgh Penguins will once again represent the Eastern Conference in the Cup Finals after beating Boston in the conference finals. In the end, the Flyer's goaltending situation will once again let them down in a playoff scenario, and the Capitals take one step closer towards becoming the San Jose Sharks of the East. The fast break, offensive style they play just does not translate to typically defensive minded playoff hockey. Especially when Mike Green is considered one of your best defensemen.

5. The San Jose Sharks will win the Pacific Division and the #1 seed in the playoffs. Yawn.
6. The Chicago Blackhawks will win the Central Division and the #2 seed in the playoffs
7. The Vancouver Canucks will win the Northwest Division and the #3 seed in the playoffs
8. The Detroit Red Wings will be the #4 seed.
9. I don't know enough about the West to predict a whole lot more. I only get to watch at most, five Western Conference games a season before the playoffs. The Flames will get in though if not own their own merit, due to the fact that they have amazing uniforms. I will not argue.

10. The supposed fall of the Detroit Red Wings will turn out to be greatly exaggerated as they cruise to the conference finals. Goaltending woes and Marian Hossa will cause the Blackhawks to flame out of the playoffs, San Jose will be San Jose in the playoffs, and Vancouver will play the Wings tough in the conference finals. I basically flipped a coin between the Canucks and Wings to see who I would have coming out of the West. Vancouver it is.

11. The Penguins will repeat as Cup Champions (Homer alert!). Sidney Crosby will shake all the members of the Canuck's hands. No one will whine about it.

12. Evgeni Malkin will win the scoring title, by double digits. I'm guessing something along the lines of 45 goals, 80 assists for 125 points (Homer Alert!).

13. Alex Ovechkin will win his third straight Hart Trophy. Although I am pretty sure this has been predetermined. Unless Crosby scores more points. Then Crosby will win it. Malkin will not win it unless he puts up at least 140 points. No one outside these three really has a chance. The Hart Trophy is kind of a joke.

14. Martin Brodeur will win the Vezina Trophy. He'll either play the season pissed off over what happened in the playoffs, and take advantage of Lemaire's defensive (read: boring-as-shit) system all the way to ridiculous goaltending stats. Or, it turns out he is just getting old and will falter. I'm leaning towards the former.

15. Mike Green will initially win the Norris Trophy. But like last year, his playoff performance will be dismal, and the NHL will at the last minute change the winner of the award. I'm going to go with Nick Lidstrom. Think of it as a potential retirement gift. (Although it will be deserved.)

16. Washington will win the President's trophy.

17. I have no clue who will be the surprise team to make the playoffs this season. So, based on absolutely nothing, the Toronto Maple Leafs will be that team from the East. From the West, oh what the hell, lets go with the LA Kings after they acquire Evgeni Malkin in the middle of the season for Dustin Brown and an old school Gretzky Kings jersey.

[EDIT: The above report has been confirmed by Bruce "Malkin to the Kings" Garrioch]

18. Sidney Crosby will get shot at in Philadelphia. He will ask for better security the next time the team travels there. Philly fans will accuse him of whining.

19. Capitals fans will start off the season by stating that the combination of Alex Ovechkin and either Alexander Semin or Niklas Backstrom is better then that of Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin. Capitals fans will end the season by saying that Ovechkin has no one to play with while Crosby and Malkin have each other as their argument for why Ovechkin should win the Hart.

20. Sidney Crosby will not punch anyone in the balls from behind (I hope).

21. The Olympics will be the high point of the season. Russia will be by far the most fun team to watch with the average score of their games being something along the lines of 12-8. Canada will probably win. I will enjoy every second of it.

22. For the first game that the Penguins play in Philadelphia, a new pair of pants will be given to all fans in attendance. This will allow Flyer fans to watch the game in comfort after they ruin their first pair by ejaculating in them after Pronger takes his first cheap shot at Crosby.

23. The Penguins season will very much mirror last years. They will start off on fire, then slump between the months of December and February. Just after the Olympic break, they will go on a run to secure the 4th seed in the playoffs.

24. There will be a fight during the winter classic this year. Boston will win. Flyer fans will whine about Sidney Crosby.

25. Puck Daddy will continue to be the best hockey blog on the cybernets. Unfortunately, the Puck Daddy message boards will continue to be overrun by idiots.



(Note: Unlike my NFL preview, I made no attempt to be completely objective here. I was more focused on writing an entertaining NHL preview than one with actual substance. So, take that for what its worth. )

Goin' to California

In about 6 hours, I will be on my way to Oxnard, California for the SMASIS 2009 conference to give a presentation, watch numerous presentations, and hopefully lay out and get drunk on the beach. In all likelihood, it will just be laying on the beach though as I have little doubt that getting loaded at one of these things is probably frowned upon. I certainly can't complain about that though. So, there will be no updates to PABST this week. Now, now, its OK. There is plenty of porn out there on the cybernets for you to occupy yourselves with until I return. On that note, I'll give a my brief take on today's Steeler game.

OK, so we lost. You know, today, the Bears beat the Steelers at their own game. The Steelers were certainly the better team, but the better team doesn't always win. If that were the case, the Titans would have won last week. We are simply on the other end of it today. No big deal though. Its only one loss. Lose in Cinci next week though, then we have some issues on our hands. Particularly if the Ravens end up winning and take control of the division with a 3-0 record.

Oh, and by the way...

From last Friday's post:

3:30- USC at Washington
Because you heard it here first; Washington is going to beat USC. Its the classic USC trap game of the year.

Now, I'm not one to toot my own horn or anything, but.....beep beep.

Armchair Quarterback

Football games that you should probably check out this weekend.

College

3:30- Tennessee at Florida
Because I want to see Urban Meyer try and put up 80 points.

3:30- USC at Washington
Because you heard it here first; Washington is going to beat USC. Its the classic USC trap game of the year.

7:00 - Navy at Pitt
Because I have a feeling a whole lot of points are going to be scored. And again, I go to Pitt.

7:00 - Florida St. at BYU
Because we'll learn a whole lot about how good BYU actually is this week. And Bobby Bowden is old as shit.


Pro Football

New Orleans at. Philadelphia
Because Drew Brees is playing. Who doesn't want to watch that?

New England at NY Jets
Because it is fun to root for injuries when you hate both teams

Baltimore at San Diego
Because it is fun to root for injuries when you hate both teams

NY Football Giants at Dallas
Because I am praying that Jerry Jones fails to sell out this new $1.2 billion dollar stadium, of which a picture should be placed in every dictionary right next to the words "bloated" or "excessive". And who honestly doesn't hate Tony Romo?

Pittsburgh at Chicago
Obviously. I'm taking Pittsburgh in this game for the week. I actually was going to take Chicago, but I recently changed my mind when they became the trendy pick of the week. Also, I think the O-line is going to play pissed off. Meaning, we are only looking at a couple sacks, and perhaps a few runs over 5 yards.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder....Or Possibly More Appathetic. Either way...

I know, its been awhile since my last post. Things have been nuts at school with homework, OLDE Fortran, thesis writing, and preparing for the SMASIS conference in California next week. So, you'll have to understand/tolerate my lack of posts in recent days. So in order to hold you over, for a little, here are so jams I've been rockin' out to in my lab the last few days.


1.) Titus Andronicus - Self-Titled

This record is controlled (at times), intelligent (at all times), and chaotic. These dudes are pissed off. Really fucking pissed off. And its great. I'm not always one for angry records, but every once in a while one just completely clicks with me. One of my favorite records of the second half of this decade for sure. It also contains a kick ass album ending lyric:

"Because the more we think, the less it all makes sense, tonight we will drink to our general indifference. Lamb of God, we think nothing of ourselves at all. So, Death, be not proud, because we don't give a fuck about nothing and we only want what we are not allowed."

In addition, on their blog, part of their band description is hilarious.

Titus Andronicus like to scream and carry on at excessive volume. Titus Andronicus like songs which are fast more than songs which are slow. Titus Andronicus think slow songs are okay sometimes. Titus Andronicus never sing about love, only hate. Titus Andronicus have no hope for the future. Titus Andronicus believe only in nothingness. Everyone in Titus Andronicus was born to die. Titus Andronicus crave your approval but will settle for your utter disdain.

2.) The Stone Roses - 20th Anniversary Remastered Edition

3.) The National - Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers

4.) The Beatles - White Album

Actually, pretty much any Beatles record. In one week, the entire Beatles catalog was released as well as The Stone Roses? What a week!

5.) Jay-Z - The Blueprint 3
Very much a hit or miss album. Some of the tracks are absolutely bomb. Some are utterly forgetful.

Weekend Arm Chair Quarterback

Weekend Football Games of Note:



College

3:30: Notre Dame (18) at Michigan
Because ever since I was a little kid, I always loved this game. Even if both teams suck

8:00: USC (3) at Ohio State (8)
Because lets face, who doesn't love watching Ohio State get trounced in front of a national audience. Even if it relegates the Big Ten to Big East status.


NFL

1:00: Minnesota at Cleveland
Because its a win-win situation. Either Cleveland gets beat down, or Favre gets beat down. Something pretty much everyone wants to see no doubt

1:00: Jacksonville at Indianapolis
Because this game is always good. No matter what the relative strength of each team is

4:15: Washington at NY Football Giants
Because apparently we all love the NFC East so much that no one EVER gets sick of watching these 4 teams play every Sunday afternoon, for every week of the entire fucking season.

8:20 Chicago at Green Bay
Because we have two storied franchises going up against each other. And because I picked Green Bay to win the Super Bowl. I need some validation here!

Monday Night: Look ESPN, we all know you love the Patriots (understandably) and the Chargers (Why? I don't get it). But c'mon. First Monday Night games of the year, and they are both complete jokes. What were you idiots thinking?

PABST Steeler Postgame

Last night was a beautiful night in the City of Champions. The Black-Eyed Peas played their hit "I Gotta Feelin" in front of what looked like 100,000 screaming, Terrible Towel waving fans. The Black-Eyed Peas then played their song/result of a bowel movement gone awry "Boom Boom Pow" in front of what looked like 100,000 bored, Terrible Towel holding fans. Then, the same 100,000 fans tolerated a performance from Tim McGraw. At some point after the fireworks, bloated National Anthem, and tributes to whomever, (I was nearly asleep due to boredom at this point), there was a football game. I know, hard to believe huh? But indeed, the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers opened up their season against the Tennessee Titans last night at Heinz Field.

Just slightly off topic, I would advise all non-Steeler fans to quit reading right here. Everyone knows that Steeler fans are essentially spoiled brats these days, almost to the level of New England fans unfortunately, and my summary of the game is no different. In short, I will be bitching and moaning for the next few paragraphs following what should be, a pretty nice win. This something I generally do not do. You have been warned.

General Thoughts:

- If any one thing is to be learned from this game, it is this. Stats don't mean shit. I repeat, to all of you hopeless Fantasy Football fanatics out there, STATS DO NOT MEAN SHIT. Proof? Last night, Ben Roethlisberger threw for 363 yards. Hines Ward and Santonio Holmes each had well over 100 yards receiving. The Titans had 320 yards of offense. Kerry Collins threw for 244 yards. Given these numbers, you would probably deduce that both defenses played poorly, and that this was an offensively dominated, high scoring game. Well, the final score was 13-10.

- Despite Ben's respectable stat line, 33-46 for 363 yards, 1TD and 2 INT(one of these being a Hail Mary), I wouldn't say he played nearly as well as the post game stories seem to indicate. Sure, he was incredible in the clutch as usual. But had he not missed Mike Wallace on a poorly under thrown ball early on, taken an inexcusable 19 yard sack which knocked them out of field goal range, and thrown a really poor INT, this game probably never comes down to another 4th quarter comeback. Still, even though he can be maddening at times, I'm not sure there is anyone else I'd rather have as my QB.

- I'm a little torn on the defensive play. On the one hand, they gave up 10 points. That is a fantastic result. But at the same time, the Titans missed a field goal and had another blocked. Generally, the Titans were able to move the ball at ease (to the tune of 320 yards), specifically in the mid-range passing game. Receivers were as wide open as I've seen in years, with the exception of the 4th quarter of the Super Bowl. And make no mistake, Kerry Collins, Justin Gage, and Nate Washington are not Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald, and Anquan Boldin. And the Titans only touchdown drive, a 70 some yarder in well under a minute, is just plain inexcusable. But then again, the D stiffened in the second half, especially when you consider that they played without all world safety Troy Polamalu. So, in the end, I give them the benefit of the doubt. Again, you can't argue with 10 points allowed.

- My friend with whom I was watching the game made an interesting observation. That being, it seems Ben Roethlisberger is approaching Brett Favre-like status in terms of infallibility on the football field. When Ben was making bonehead play after bonehead play in the first quarter, Cris Collinsworth and Al Michaels (Announcers I really like by the way) kept praising his ability to keep plays alive and pump fake instead of bothering to note that he took a 19 yard sack which cost the Steelers 3 points. I only noticed it a little, but I bet anyone watching the game who wasn't a Steeler fan was losing their shit.

- Due to the announcers bizarre obsession with pump faking last night, cracking jokes involving Ben Roethlisberger, pumping, and Andrea McNulty was like shooting fish in a barrel.

- I love Steffon Logan. For the first time in my life as a Steeler fan, I can actually get excited about kickoff and punt returns.

- I'm not nearly as concerned about Troy missing a few weeks as everyone else seems to be. I think the Steelers will be fine. I also acknowledge that I will probably feel different in a week or so, especially if Cutler and the Bears end up carving up the secondary next week.

- That being said. Troy's interception. Best. Thing. Ever.

- The offensive line...blah blah blah....shit the bed...blah blah. Just listen to any sports talk show in Pittsburgh during the next week if you don't already know how I feel about the line and the running game. Although, they kept Ben pretty clean towards the end of the game.

In short, I'm obviously happy with the win. However, I saw a lot of things that bothered me, specifically the running game, short yardage plays, and the degree to which the Titan receivers were able to get open. That being said, you can't draw any conclusions from Week 1. This game reminded me very much of the Steelers-Dolphins opening night game from 2006. At the time, it was viewed as great game between two strong teams who forced each other into mistakes and played hard for 60 minutes. In hindsight, it turns out both teams just sucked. I'm not really sure which way this year will turn out for the Steelers and Titans, but both situations are not really out of the question. So, for now, I will just go with what should be the conventional wisdom. A win is a win.

Boring Predictions

In my previous post, the PABST 2009 NFL Preview, I made brief mention of how I try to take into account the craziness of the NFL when considering my picks. At the same time, I try to pick teams that might be considered "outside the box". I feel that it generally makes things more interesting for the reader. I mean, how boring is it to read endless numbers of NFL previews which all call for the most obvious, safe, unoriginal Super Bowl match ups. Case in point, I bring you Tom Curran of MSNBC sports. The pick? New England Patriots over the New York Football Giants. Fucking yawn. I'm not saying this pick doesn't make sense. It makes all the sense in the world. But it is boring and gutless. It is such an obvious pick that anyone who has been following the NFL the past decade or so knows that it will almost certainly not happen. Everyone knows that things in the NFL never pan out the way everyone thinks they should at the beginning of the season. And as for everyone picking New England, I certainly understand the reasoning to a point. I just have one question that no one seems to be considering. Do you honestly expect that the defensive losses of long time Patriots defensive cornerstones such as Richard Seymour, Teddy Bruschi, and Rodney Harrison will have no effect at all on a Pats defense that was very mediocre last season? If not, then I guess I see your point. I mean, I'm sure the Steelers would be just fine if they lost Troy Polamalu, James Farrior, and Aaron Smith during a single off season.

Now, please don't misconstrue this as me being a typical Steelers homer who gets pissed off whenever people don't pick them to win. Believe me, I am pretty used to it by now. I know I picked them to win to AFC, but as crazy as it sounds, picking the Steelers to come out of the AFC is not really a common thing. They aren't as sexy a pick to the ESPN's of the world as New England or Indianapolis while at the same time, they aren't as daring as say a Jacksonville or a Baltimore. And no franchise I can remember outside of maybe the Carolina Panthers earlier this decade enjoys the amount of preseason bandwagon hype as the San Diego Chargers. And at least Carolina actually made it to a Super Bowl. But in my eyes, since most people seem to have Pittsburgh losing in the early rounds of the playoffs (certainly quite probable), the manner in which they seem to fly under the radar allows me to feel comfortable picking them again this season.

Oh and by the way Tom Curran, the 8-8 Chargers gave the Steelers "all they could handle"? Are you serious? You didn't watch that game did you? The Chargers had only one single offensive play in the third quarter! Two of their touchdowns came in garbage time when the game was already decided. Stats and the final score of a game hardly ever tell the full story. I would have thought that an esteemed sports journalist such as yourself might have known this. Of course then again, you also imply that Tennessee had a better defense than Pittsburgh last season ("And they have the AFC's best defense now that the Titans lost Albert Haynesworth"). Apparently you were not watching much of the 2008 season either.


[EDIT]
OK, I just posted this entry earlier this morning and already I stand corrected. Take a gander here at the predictions coming from ESPN. The Steelers seem to be the majority pick to win the Super Bowl here. This is pretty shocking to me as everything I've read thus far has already given the title to New England. But, I said earlier that it was rare for anyone these days to pick the Steelers. Boy was I wrong. Now, as a result, I'm sure that they won't win the Super Bowl.

2009 NFL Season Preview

At long last, the moment you've been waiting for. The NFL is back and sports fans everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief as people will stop pretending to caring about baseball and focus in on a real sport. Now, just in time for Thursday's NFL Kick-Off in which the Six-time Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers face off against future Hall of Famer Vince Young, LenDale "I dropped 30 lbs and no longer look like I need to wear a bra" White and the Tennessee Titans, I bestow upon you, my loyal readers, the PABST 2009 NFL Preview.

Now, when making NFL predictions, I try and take into account the fact that the NFL is crazy. No one has any clue how the year is going to unfold and if they say they do, they are either lying or they work for ESPN. For example, last year I picked a Jacksonville-Washington Super Bowl. Stupid in hindsight? Absolutely. But, at least I went out on a limb unlike say Peter King and the rest of the NFL media who went with the totally original and daring pick of Dallas vs. New England. And for the record, neither of those teams made the playoffs last year either.

So, without further ado, I present to you my picks for the upcoming season. Division winners will be listed as well as wild card winners, each with appropriate seed numbers beside each team. Then playoff rounds will be picked leading up to the Super Bowl. Afterwards, I will provide a few notes in order to hopefully help the reader to understand a little bit of the thought that went into my predictions.

And here we go...

AFC

East: New England Patriots (1)
North: Pittsburgh Steelers (2)
South: Jacksonville Jaguars (3)
West: San Diego Paper Champs...uh I mean Chargers (4)
Wild Cards: Tennessee Titans (5) and Houston Texans (6)

Playoffs

Wild Card Round
Jacksonville Jaguars (3) over Houston Texans (6)
Tennessee Titans (5) over San Diego Chargers (4)

Divisional Round
New England Patriots (1) over Tennessee Titans (5)
Pittsburgh Steelers (2) over Jacksonville Jaguars (3)

Championship
Pittsburgh Steelers (2) over New England Patriots (1)


NFC

East: New York Football Giants (1)
North: Green Bay Packers (2)
South: New Orleans Saints (3)
West: Seattle Seahawks (4)
Wild Cards: Dallas Cowboys (5) and Minnesota Vikings (6)

Playoffs

Wild Card Round
Minnesota Vikings (6) over New Orleans Saints (3)
Dallas Cowboys (5) over Seattle Seahawks (4)

Divisional Round
New York Giants (1) over Minnesota Vikings (6)
Green Bay Packers (2) over Dallas Cowboys (5)

Championship: Green Bay Packers (2) over New York Giants (1)

Super Bowl XLV: Green Bay Packers over Pittsburgh Steelers



Prediction Notes

• Yes, I have my beloved Steelers losing the Super Bowl. Why you may ask? Simply because we just had the greatest sports year ever here in Pittsburgh. And while I think the Steelers are unbelievably well equipped to repeat, I can't help but think it is asking for too much of a good thing. After the 2009 sports year in Pittsburgh, I fear a little bit of heartbreak has to be on the horizon.
  
• The Colts not in the playoffs? Hey, something crazy happens every year right? The Colts have made the playoffs something like 6 or 7 years in a row. Eventually their luck has to run out and after watching them regress last year, I think this is the year.
• No Baltimore? I think the Ravens will have a good year and a good record. Problem is, the AFC North is playing the NFC North this year. Meaning, the Ravens will have a tougher schedule than teams playing in the AFC South for example (They play the NFC West, a much worse division than the North). That's also why I have three teams from the AFC South making the playoffs. Never underestimate the importance of schedule strength in these situations. You want to know how Miami went from 1-15 to 11-5 last year? In addition to some very good coaching and Bill Parcells, look at their schedule. It was a joke.
  
• No Arizona? As much as it pains be to say it, I think the Cardinals are in for a long year. I think they will suffer from a Super Bowl hangover and I would bet a large sum of money on Kurt Warner getting hurt at some point during the year. After all, the guy has only had a couple full seasons this decade.
  
• No Chicago? Look, I am a huge Jay Cutler fan for reasons I honestly do not quite understand. However, his receiving corps is just not very good. More importantly, Chicago had a great defense for so many years, that their reputation seems to overshadow the fact that they have been mediocre at best the last two years. I see no reason for that to change this year.
  
• What about Philly? Ah yes, this one is quite simple. The Eagles probably have the best roster they've had in years. However, look for the Mike Vick signing to be a distraction. Not because of protesters or anything along those lines, but because Donovan McNabb is already unhappy about it. What is going to happen if he plays poorly? It will be the T.O saga all over again. Plus, if there is anything I've learned from the last decade of football regarding the Eagles, it is the following: Never underestimate the capacity of the McNabb-Andy Reid duo to completely screw up a potentially good thing.
  

So there you have it. It is probably going to be another crazy season in the NFL. And like the Sam Bradford injury in college football over the weekend, a single game or play could cause all of the above predictions to be thrown out the window. And unlike some football columnists, if I am still regularly updating this blog at the end of the year, I will be sure to pull entry back up so as to remind the reader of my excellent (Read: crappy) season predictions.

Oh yeah, and one more thing. Cleveland still sucks.